Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Happy Birthday - To Me!

I remember how I could not wait to hit my 40's.  They were to be my most fantastic decade yet!!  With age comes wisdom, so I was not naive in thinking that the 40's would be smooth sailing,  but I knew in my soul that they would be life-changing.

Lets recap.

I turned 40 on July 31st 2008.
     * November 18th/08 I was diagnosed with Cancer.  
     * December 18th/08 I had cancer surgery. 
     * To date I am 3 years - 7 months in remission.  Praise God!

October 2010
     * My daughter moved into her own place.
     This clearly was a difficult time for me.  I was an empty-nester.  
     But after a lifetime of either being my Mother's Daughter and my 
     Daughter's Mother. I was now given the gift of just being Lori -
     and discovering who Lori is. I have to say that so far, I like her! :)  

June 19/2011 - I found my Father!!!
     * A life-long search had come to an end.  I had a Dad!  Praise God!
       I had two Aunties, Two beautiful sisters, 3 handsome nephews and 3
       beautiful nieces. Praise God!
       Lord knows the road was anything but smooth.  I knew it wouldn't be.
       Some I am close with. Some I am not as close to as I would love
       to be and hope to be with time.
       But I am known by them  -  and I know them. That is more than I
       ever had.  I am so thankful for this blessing.

November 1st/2011 - My father began to take ill.
     * I still remember the first day I heard the word prostate -
        and I just knew. In my gut - In my soul - I knew this would be
        the beginning of the end. I had found my father - just in time
        to helplessly watch him die a long, agonizing death.
     * Although I am still working on my truest gratitude for finding him,
        before it was too late. It is so difficult and gut-wrenching to be
        on this ride.  I do thank God that I was blessed with time
        to know him before he was called back home.

December 2011
     * I was diagnosed with stage 1 colon cancer, and pre-colon cancer,
        discovered through a colonoscopy I had done.
        One + One makes Two!!  Really?????
        I am now nearly 8 months in remission!  Praise God!

July 2012
     * Many member of my Father's family are positive for a mutation
        of the BRCA2 gene. Thus elevating their risk of developing
        breast, ovarian or prostate cancers.  My Aunt and cousin have
        had mastectomies, my grandmother who lost her battle with
        several cancers. My Dad is suffering in his battle with several cancers.

July 11th/2012
     * I took the Genetic Testing.  Two actually, 1 for the BRCA2
        and 1 for the P-53,
        which they threw in for good measure due to my personal two cancers.

July 24th/2012
     * BRCA2 came back NEGATIVE!!  Praise God!
     * This means my daughter will not need to be tested! Praise God!

July 31st 2012

So, here we are.  I am 44 years old today!  All in all it has been quite the interesting decade.  Froth with blessings and heartache.  As such is life.

Today I am with heavy heart as my Dad's time is drawing near.  I pray he knows my love for him and my extreme gratitude to have been able to hold him, hug him, kiss him,  look in to his eyes.  To call him Dad.

Today I will try to celebrate me.  I will count my blessings.  I will be thankful for family and  friends who take time out of their life to recognize me on this day.  Knowing each of them are a blessing in my life.

I will also remember a lesson that I was taught some time ago....

And so, I will live this lesson and also honour my Dad's wish for me;

"I want you to keep moving forward into your future, with the power of God, who gives us strength."

With the words of my Earthly Father and the lessons of my Heavenly father, I will journey forward under HIS light.