Tuesday, July 24, 2012
By The Grace Of GOD Go I
My alarm went off at 10:30 this morning. The phone rang at 10:31. It was an Unknown Name Private Number. I did not answer. I proceeded to get up and do the morning thing in the washroom. By the time I had come out I could see the right light on the phone flashing. There was a message. I listened. It was Princess Margaret Hospital. My test results are in!!!
My breath was instantly cut and my heart instantly stopped beating.
With trembling hands, I called the woman back and she again repeated that my results are in. She offered to set up an appointment to come in or I could have the genetic counselor call me back. I opted to be called back. "11AM??" I looked at the clock - It read 10:37. I said yes. I hung up the phone and feeling faint, I stood up and got dressed to take Bentley outside.
It felt like we were gone for six hours. In reality it was 15 minutes. The clock now read 10:57. I hurried to fill the water and food bowls. Poured myself a drink. Sat and waited. And waited. And waited.
Is the clock moving backwards? Has time stood still? Why isn't my heart beating??
The clock stuck 11:00. The phone rang.
It was the same woman I had seen when I had the testing done. I think her name was Susan. I wasn't listening. Blah, blah, blah ... your results are in.....
BOOM .......... BOOM .......... BOOM
My heart was now beating in my ears. Nearly drowning out her words.
"The results for your BRCA2 testing have come back negative."
What??????????????? I think I fainted. She repeated. "The results for your BRCA2 testing have come back negative."
.............................. SILENCE ............................
"Do you understand." ...... "Yes" I reply. My mind racing. ......... "This means you don't have it." she continues.....
"Yes" I respond.
She then continues to say that the results for my P-53 test (LFS) are still not in and will not be in for a few months.
My heart starts beating again. I ask,,, why are the results in so quickly? I explain that my sister Cyndy was tested in Vancouver, but everyone else was done in Kingston .... and Kingston made everyone wait about three months. Why are mine back in ONLY 13 days???
She explains ... "With all respect to Kingston General Hospital .... We are Princess Margaret Hospital and we are a Cancer Hospital. Our labs are in house and cancer specific. Our turn around rates are extremely quick due to the nature of the testing done."
She then confirms that the P-53 test will not be in anytime soon and in addition, the hospital has been in touch with Sunnybrook where I had my colon cancer diagnosed last year. And that PMH will be needing a sample of the tumor that was extracted during my colonoscopy. She then said they would wait for the tests to come back before they moved forward with the tumor samples.
As I write this, an hour after our conversation, my heart is now beating again. I know how blessed I am. This does not guarantee I won't get breast or ovarian cancer. It means that my chances are that with the rest of the population - not 85% higher. It also means that my daughter will not need to be tested - as I am not a carrier. It means - at 22 years of age, she can keep her breasts, her ovaries, she can move forward with her life and have babies.
I realize how blessed and fortunate I am. With my dad being so sick and his body riddled with multiple cancers. With him being a carrier of the BRCA2 .. His sister, His niece, and possibly his mother - my Grandmother ... who also suffered and ultimately passed away after losing her battle with multiple cancers.
By the Grace Of GOD Go I.....