Monday, March 19, 2012

Twenty-Two


(Then)

Monday, March 19th, 1990, I was in Women's College Hospital being induced for the 2nd and 3rd time. 40 weeks pregnant with my beautiful baby girl, who took her sweet time making her entrance into the world.

Lets go back a bit. Friday the 16th, I was admitted to the hospital and induced. I dilated to 1cm. Spent the night in the hospital - a guest of the premi ward. Saturday the 17th I was released after an exam, which showed that I had not advanced in dilation whatsoever.

I was told that if anything started over the weekend, to come back immediately - otherwise, I would return to the hospital on Monday - March 19th.

7AM, I got on the streetcar with my baby still on board. Nearly 40 weeks pregnant and very ready to meet my baby girl!

I was admitted and began my second round of induction by pills. After about six hours, I was now dilated to 2cm.

The doctors decided to then start me on 'the drip'. And so began my third induction. By the evening of the 19th, I had my water broke and began pacing the hallways. I remember thinking to myself that I now knew what those railings along the hospital walls were for. They were clearly put there for women in labour!!! And I used them well!!!

I was given an epidural, which allowed me to sleep .... for an hour. I was rudely awoken by a contraction, which could only be compared to as an inner-body-earthquake!!!

The doctors rushed to top up my epidural, but none of the anesthesia would take. And so, with tubes in my spine, I began to deliver my baby girl. Feeling EVERY THING!!!

1:35 AM, after three pushes; Out popped my baby girl, with the most beautiful cry I'd ever heard.

6lb, 15oz, 51.5cm in length. I remember thinking how loooooooong she was,,, yet how tiny she was!!

The nurse handed her to me and big sparkling brown eyes looked up at me and tiny fingers wrapped around my finger. I was in love!!!




(Now)

I'm really not sure where the time went. I find myself experiencing a lot of feelings today. Monday, March 19th - 2012.

Tomorrow my beautiful Natasha will be 22 years old!!! WHAT!!!! How did that happen???

I still remember her sitting on a blanket with a fist full of toast; crumbs all around her mouth,,, watching Barney.... I would say "are you going to walk for mommy today??" and she would look up at me with that beautiful smile and giggle at me.

I remember walking under the over-sized evergreens that were all covered in snow. Natasha being 3 years old ... me sneaking up behind her and pulling one of the branches down ... wayyyy down .. then letting go. Watching her face as the branch snapped sharply back and shaking all of the snow down over her. Her brown eyes wide. The shock and excitement on her face. "MOMMY!!! You made it snow!!!!"

Or when we would dance around singing and acting out "Head, and Shoulders, Knees and Toes.... Knees and Toes... Knees and Toes... Eyes, Ears, Mouth and Nose."

When she was around 7 years old and had just finished dinner. A dinner she really enjoyed... and looked up at me and said..... "Mommy! You are a good recipe!"

My mind and heart are a treasure chest of wonderful memories of watching my girl grow from a little girl with big sparkling brown eyes and chestnut ringlets in her hair, to a beautiful young woman, now living on her own for over a year!!

So, my darling Natasha, as I reflect on the night you came to join me in this world, I smile as I think of all of the memories we still have to make. I think about watching as you grow into womanhood. Become a mom yourself. The day when you will feel tiny fingers wrap around your finger. When a precious toast-crumb face will look up at you and giggle.

I love you more than words can say. You are my heart. My soul. My thoughts and My prayers.

I love you my beautiful baby girl.

xoxoxoxoxox