Monday, October 24, 2011

Domestic Violence Touches Everyone


I was deeply saddened today to learn that one of my long-time friends has been abused by her boyfriend. KICKED in the face!!??!! *Sigh*

When will boys learn that beating a woman does NOT make you a MAN. MEN do NOT hit!! Love does NOT Hurt!! Control is NOT Love!!

I am especially upset by this, not only as a woman, but as a survivor of domestic violence. I am sad to say that I lived that life - spiraling in a relationship of ten years - five years living under his fist - 3 emergency transfers - 5 court cases - countless tears - countless nightmares.

I am proud to say that once I left - I NEVER looked back!

I know it is not easy for women to walk away - but it really is the only option that makes sense. Living in a home with violence is not living at all. It is like being a caged animal. Living in fear that the next slap, the next punch, the next foul-mouth emotional/mental tear-down is right around the corner. NO woman deserves this treatment. NO human deserves this treatment.

I suppose that the one good thing is, compared to decades ago; when I was going through it. The courts seemingly are taking a firmer stance on abusers. And society as a whole is talking about it more. However, there is still a veil of shame that the woman wears. Like a scarlet letter - branded on her psyche. A little piece of who she is has been altered - like a cracked glass vase. Seemingly still in tact - but if you look closely - you can see the vulnerabilities.

Will woman ever learn that the shame is not ours? Let's say it together ....

"THE SHAME IS NOT MINE!!"

That's right! You guessed it! If the shame is not mine .... that means it is YOURS!! Yes! YOU! Mr. Tough Guy!! You beat a woman. You made her cry. You made her bleed. Now you sit in jail. Now you think. "OH! That Bitch!!" Really??!!??

Although there has been massive progress on the judicial and social scales. Clearly, there is much work to be done. Starting with women currently living in this situation, with children in the home. Little girls learning how to be hit - and little boys learning how to abuse. Break the Cycle!! It starts with YOU!!

It is TIME to say ENOUGH!!

To my friend who sits today with a bruised face of stitches. With a son and daughter in the home. My friend who put his punk ass in jail. Remember two things girl.....

THE SHAME IS NOT YOURS!!!

And...

I'm PROUD of YOU!!