Thursday, August 25, 2011

Give Me Strength

I pray each night. I pray for my daughter, my family, my friends - and all those who they hold in their hearts. I pray that they are healthy, happy, loved ... and that it may be God's will to bless them with the strength and courage to do what is right in this life.

What happens when you pray for someone, only to discover that they have dedicated their entire life to sabotaging yours?

The easy answer is: You pray harder for that person.

I have been blessed to experience much growth in my lifetime. I live a life of kindness ... spiritual awareness ... with the premise of 'doing unto others.....'

However, there (unfortunately) comes occasions where you are tested. People come into your life, and challenge your faith. Challenge your personal belief system. Challenge your spirituality. And sometimes they are a wolf in sheep's clothing. Clearly not as they portray themselves to be.

Turn the other cheek. What a novel premise. Some would even say this concept is easier said than done. But what happens when you run out of cheeks? What happens when someone is so unbelievably selfish - weak - spiteful - and malicious towards you? Are you still compelled to forgive and forget?

The saying "You can't unring a bell." comes to mind. I feel like some things can be forgiven .... some things may take more time than others to achieve this place of peace and forgiveness.

What about someone who has deliberately done things to you? Stolen moments from you? Attempted to invalidate you? Is it your place to just forgive and forget? What about the bell? What about your heart? Not to mention all of the things that would have been different - had this person not been so ..... unchristian.

Clearly I cannot be responsible for any other soul- only my own. Just as I cannot be responsible for another's peace of mind - only my own. Nor can I judge anyone - only myself. Thus ... I can only respond to actions - and not pass judgement on the person doing the actions.

So. To achieve this. I am asking God to grant me strength. The strength not to take the actions of another as an act of war against me. To take pity of the person who lives to make my life a living hell. To have the courage of conviction within myself to know that I have done no wrong here. That the issues of this person are just that - the issues of this person. Not my issues.

I ask for continued peace in my soul. I ask to be mindful of the people who are in my corner - and to be thankful for them. To count my blessings .... not to any longer give consideration to those who would seek to harm me, or wish me ill will.

In the end. I suppose it's simple ... really. I need to continue to be me. I am a good person. A good soul. A good mother, friend, daughter, sister, aunt ... etc... etc... etc. I will not allow someone who has never even met me to have any sort of governance over my happiness.

I AM strength.

I AM love.

I AM peace of mind and spirit.

I AM blessed.